In my attempts to bring some truth to our community, early on I chose to write articles on a very familiar topic in certain circles of Schiller Park and try to uncover the nature of what is really going on, so as to enable the reader to observe things in their own experiences and understand what they can put into place to create change.
One of the things I started addressing in the beginning of this blog was the damage a narcissist can inflict on a relationship. Normally this is a relationship between very few people. Often a husband and a wife, or a husband, a wife, and their children. I believe that relationship doesn’t always have to be between a small few individuals. The examples I was using early on happened to also include situations between one individual (the Narcissist), and a larger group of people (An entire school district or town for example). The narcissist inflicts large amounts of damage to the larger group as a side affect of his/her Narcissism and intense need to be in a position of power, and control. One of the very effective techniques employed by the Narcissist, was and to a point still is Gaslighting.
The Gaslighting effect also typically results from a relationship between two people, but as I have said before I believe it can also include larger groups: a gaslighter, who needs to be right in order to preserve his own sense of self and his sense of having power in the world. Termed as ‘he’ due to the greater number of gaslighting cases now recorded having been perpetrated by the male of the relationship, and the person or persons being gaslighted, or the gaslightee, who allows the gaslighter to define their sense of reality.
As I said gaslighting is more typically a two person event, but I believe that it can go on at a much larger scale. I came to this conclusion by witnessing first hand those that believed the un-truths that were and to a point still being started by one individual and spread by the people who were pulled in to the Narcissists web. I realize I am giving the narcissist or gaslighter in this situation a lot of power for being able to manipulate such large groups of people, but all he needs to be successful is time, and to win over a few people, with little to no resistance and then use them as tools or a conduit in witch he can influence the larger group. Like a plague or a virus. Convince the right people of his version of reality and they will spread it to others. If this goes unchecked for long enough it becomes very difficult to counteract.
This brought me to Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a type of mental abuse, in the shape of physiological terrorism, that can be in subtle or profound form, in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim or victims doubt Their own memory, their perception of reality and in many cases the certainty of their sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous incidents ever occurred or conversations were had, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of deluding the victim or victims.
The gaslighting behaviour seems to happen with romantic couples more often than in other types of relationships. However understanding this terminology now I feel it can be applied to many larger situations. There has been much in my own experience that fits this bill and not just directed at me. I have seen parents and community members subjected to the gaslighting effect from another member of the same community, and then turned against the system that they previously supported. For me, it took Seeing it from the outside first hand to become aware, and that as a parent and grandparent it was not normal. It was severely affecting the education of every child in Schiller Park, and on top of that there was severe abuse being done to the staff of an entire School District yet it was not being talked about openly and publicly. There was very little resistance.
It takes people knowing what is really going on to realize ‘This is not normal or caring behaviour’. The entire Town of Schiller Park had been over a few years so insidiously wrapped in miss-information that the same miss-information and un-truths were starting to become an entire communities version of reality. People started to believe the nonsense that was being spread without any proof being needed. It took one person to begin my awakening and it has been a very challenging journey to share the truth and try to release the grip those few people have on Schiller Park, and it’s school system. There was so much fear based reality, that it was starting to rewire internal beliefs so that the external world would reflect the narcissists made up truth. All the while giving more power and control of the system.
So as we look at the conditions of gaslighting, we can uncover the processes at work, allowing truth, knowledge and awareness, which in turn allows the individual or individuals to take back their power and reclaim their life.
This is the point I believe Schiller Park, and the families of School District 81 are at now. Great progress has been made towards bringing this town back to actual reality, and showing everyone what is really happening, but we can not back off now.
When people start to say ‘ This is not normal or caring behaviour’, it starts to confirm what our innate intuition has always been guiding us to feel. I stand here to say with absolute clarity, that we can not allow ourselves to be manipulated anymore we must continue to fight for the sake of our children’s future. And that The same type of manipulation that has led to the psychological, systematic abuse of one person to another simply to undermine their sense of reality and themselves for the purpose of being right or in control had to stop. I am here telling you as I was told ‘ This is not normal or caring behaviour‘, however, the power has now shifted in our favor, we have the truth (at least the start of it), knowledge and awareness in front of us to reclaim our life and the future of this town and it’s children. Stop listening and believing in their reality and start seeing what is really going on. Let’s continue releasing the grip of lies from around Schiller Parks neck, and take our town and schools back from those who would see them ruined all in the name of continuing their own agenda.
Lets end this year and start the new one by standing up for what’s right, and speaking out against those trying to ruin all the good that this town has to offer.